God's Joke on Me
by Nikol
Summary: Ken is sure God is toying when he falls for a teammate (Yaoi, YoKen)
1. The Set Up

God's Joke On Me By: Nikol  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Weiß. I just like making florists-assassins do my literary bidding. Please do not sue me...  
  
Author Notes: Oh my lordy I wrote a YoKen fic! Not a really big surprise since YoKen is my favorite pairing in Weiß Keruz. That's really just want I wanted to say...  
  
***  
  
Chapter 1  
  
I would like to induce to you the proof that God hates me: Kudou Yoji. As if being betrayed by my best friend then almost being killed him not once but twice... or was it three times... any then losing all my family because they thought I was dead wasn't bad enough. And I'm not even going to mention my profession because that's story all of its own. No, I here to enlighten you about my living hell.  
  
It isn't enough that he is a playboy who believes every everyone woman of legal age has been placed on this planet to sexually please him; he comes in 364 days out of 365 days drunk off his ass. That then results in him having hangovers that last all day and consequently everyone else suffers because poor little drunk Yoji can't work at the shop. Then of course there is the endless chain smoking, the laziness that comes in the few hours he may be sober, and the fact he treats me like some naïve child. But the thing that takes the cake is some how I, Hidaka Ken, have fallen for him. Hard.  
  
If it were any other person, male or female, it wouldn't have been so bad. I know I'm attracted to men. I know I'm attracted to women. This is perfectly okay. But the fact that it's Yoji has gotten under my skin and begun to fester. However if I ever wanted to sit down and think of "why Yoji?" the answer would be staring me in the fact. I know because I have sat down and thought "why Yoji?" It's Yoji because Omi too much like a little brother to me. It's Yoji because Aya is like a block of ice. It's Yoji because Yoji is a friend, and people have said that the best romances started as friendships.  
  
"Hey Kenken, forget how to tie your shoe?"  
  
"No. I was just thinking." I had been in the middle of changing out of cleats and into regular sneakers and stop to ponder the wonder that was Yoji. "And don't call me Kenken!"  
  
"Well don't hurt yourself Kenken." Yoji backfired as he walked past me, ruffled the mop of brown strains that sat on my head that people call hair, and walked out of the backroom into the ally.  
  
Ladies and gentlemen, meet the man of my dreams.  
  
Knowing fully well that with Yoji now in the ally he would be at least ten minutes late for his shift, more than likely leaving me alone to deal with the teams of school girls who'll stop by before going home for dinner. I swear if you didn't know we worked at a flower shop you would have thought the store was some boutique that sold those little novelties girls bought since there were always so many of them. It wouldn't be so bad if they actually bought the flowers but they flocked to the shop just to look at us. In a rare moment Aya commented under his breath we should start charging them to look. I don't think it's that bad of an idea.  
  
Standing up from my position on the floor I took a deep breath and walked through the doorway that would lead to next five hours of my life. As soon as I placed one foot into the shop Aya began to make his exit. It wasn't that he was being rude; it was the shop apparently was in an ebb of costumers. When this occurred at the end of a shift that person made as quick a get away as possible. I did made a small acknowledgement of Aya as he passed by and left; then it was off to organize some of the pre-made arrangements in the refrigerator.  
  
"If you want to take off too Omi go ahead. I can take care of things here until Yoji decides to grace us with his presents."  
  
It wasn't that I wanted to be alone when Yoji came in, I just did not want Omi to suffer because some blond playboy didn't want to show up on time. Okay maybe I wanted to be alone too but that would only be a pleasant side note.  
  
"Ken-kun I'm working a double shift so I can have tomorrow off." The genki seventeen-year-old responded from behind the counter.  
  
My first thought was Yoji would have a field day complaining about why he had to be there. He never understood why more than two people had to be working the shop and made sure everyone knew. Omi had even told Yoji to suck it up and just work. Very un-Omi but the dumbstruck look on Yoji's face was priceless. It was shortly after that I started to fall for him.  
  
I looked over my shoulder and just smiled back at Omi's shining face. Taking the rare moment of near inactivity, the two of us started to organize arrangements and straightened flowers; just try to make the shop look presentable before the inevitable tornado of girls came though. We knew this wasn't a time to slack off like other employees at other shops would have done [1].  
  
Lazily Yoji strutted though the back door. Yawning, stretching upwards, and closing his eyes, he leaned against a back wall with his hands now behind his head. It took me a moment to realize I had completely stopped working with the flowers to watch his little show in awe. No one should be that good looking, and further more no one should know they are that good looking. Yoji was the exception to both of those.  
  
Sensing something not right one of his jade green eyes shot open. Then the other. He surveyed the shop and relaxed back into a standing position with arms now resting across his chest. He looked more disappointed than anything else.  
  
"There's no one here."  
  
That was another thing. If there was no one in the store to fawn over him Yoji didn't like to be there. Someone needed to be lusting over him for Mr. Playboy to be happy. This single thought had me turn back to watering the daffodils [2] and silently frown. I truly thought that I could bring Yoji that happiness. Sure I lusted after him but it had become more. I worried about him when he was injured on missions. I felt bad when Yoji wasn't having a good day and there was nothing I could do to help. Yes, I was jealous when he'd go out night after night for one meaningless encounter after another but that seemed to keep him happy. Therefore I was the one that defended him at home when Omi or Aya would complain.  
  
But I knew I could never be the one who made Yoji happy. He liked women not men. And seeing how I fit into the sex of male it would be impossible for me to be with him. Yoji could not know I liked him "like that." God only knows how he would react. Oh wait, this was all Gods joke on me is I bet he's up there sitting on his chair or whatever having a ball laughing at me. Furthermore Mr. Creator of the World is probably waiting to see me slip up and tell Yoji how I lust after him. How I wish for once to be a woman so I could be with him. How I envy his one-night stands at the same time as hating them. All the things Yoji knew nothing about.  
  
"I told you not to hurt yourself Kenken."  
  
Returning from lala land, I whipped around to face the voice that had addressed me. At the same time the hose followed and sprayed everything is swept over. That included Yoji whom the hose and I now faced. And children this is the image fantasies are made of. The shirt that was exposed from the apron he wore had become transparent against his slightly tan skin. It clung to him, accentuating the muscles in his upper body. His golden hair now shone as the sunlight danced off the small water beads that were now resting on the blond strands. He looked god-like. I don't care how cheesy it sounds; to me Kuduo Yoji at this moment looked like a god.  
  
"Ken-kun?" Omi's distant voice sounded  
  
"Hu?"  
  
"I think I'm cooled off enough." Yoji answered  
  
"Oh!" I exclaimed while fumbling with turning off the water without soaking anything else.  
  
"If I didn't know any better Kenken I'd say you like seeing my like this." Yoji playfully joked, striking a pose and winking. That was not what I needed. I could feel the color rush to my cheeks and instantly I looked away. Not the best thing I could have done but it was better than letting Yoji see me blush.  
  
However that is the moment the broke me. Sure I had seen Yoji soaking wet before but never like think. Maybe it was because today had been a "Yoji day" (These are the days that my thoughts are plague by him). Maybe it was because I was tired from the practice with the kid from before. Maybe it was because Yoji looked so picture perfect. Who know what the real reason was but something inside broke and I knew if I was able to utter anything it would the wrong thing.  
  
"Kenken this is where you yell at me, saying I am being 'an egotistical bastard' like you always do."  
  
/An egotistical sexy godlike bastard. An egotistical sexy godlike bastard who is here only to torture me./ is all I wanted to say. But I knew if I did open my mouth those would be the exact words that would have come out. Not a good idea if you ask me. Because that was the scene that needed to be played out right now: Ken admits he likes Yoji. Yoji doesn't take it seriously and then acts all funny around Ken. Or he does take it seriously and acts even funnier around Ken. Ken is mortified and wants to die. Nice little play, right?  
  
"Ken?"  
  
Now he listens to me. Now he doesn't call me by that absurd nickname. But Yoji's tone had switched from the teasing playboy to the normal playboy tone. The one he used when being serious. The one I didn't want to hear right now. Because this means I'll have to respond. I'll have to explain why I didn't have some quick responce. I'm not ready to explain yet. I will never be ready to explain. This was my little dark secret that no would know about.  
  
Dropping the hose I could tell I was walking. My speed picking up with each step. Moving away from the flowers past the counter towards the door into the backroom. I saw my hand reach for the knob. It was like watching my life from outside yet though my eyes.  
  
"Ken this is where you deny liking me. I joke that you do. You say you do-- "  
  
I didn't hear the end of the sentence. I just closed the door behind me as I walked out. So my little play didn't go how I thought. I didn't say anything. Yoji didn't act funny. Yet here I am ascending the steps feeling mortified and wanting to die.  
  
To Be Continued...  
  
***  
  
[1] It's what all the employees at the garden center I work for do when we're the only ones there. [2] Daffodil meaning: You're the only one; Regard; Unrequited love; The sun shines when I'm with you 


	2. The Cue

I think, as we get older we forget how protective forts made out of sheets can be. You can block out all the bad things by surrounding your body with large pieces of fabric. But as an adult if you made a fort someone who surely lock you away in some mental institution. Therefore I did the next best thing and crawled into my bed, pulled the sheets over my head and brought out Fish. So you know, Fish is a stuffed bear my mama got me when I was four. I know it's silly to be a nineteen-year-old and still have a stuffed bear but I don't care what you think I like him!  
  
In my protective cocoon all I could do is replay the image of Yoji being soaked by the hose. His voice saying that I enjoyed the view in that joking tone of his. The mortification that filled me while I remained silent and ran away. Hello, can I die now?  
  
Now understand that I did not want to be disturbed, but about an hour ago it started to bug me that no one came to check on me. It's not like I want any pity from anyone. Quite the opposite; I didn't want my little personal issue to effect any one else's life except my own. But none the less I felt someone should have come up to see how I was doing. When I first stormed off, I expected Omi to be a few moments behind me. It seemed his unassigned job in the house to make sure everyone was at least content, if not happy. But with "the incident" playing over and over again I didn't think I have the strength to get up out of the bed.  
  
So I just lay there. Sheets pulled over my head, body curled around Fish, brooding. I was discovering it was a lot easier to brood than be cheerful. To be cheerful nothing in your life can be messed up, everything has to be neat and orderly. And if it's not you have to act like it is or else people hound you (or should be hounding you). But to be broody you if you are having a good day people think you're on something. If there is a happy medium I have yet to find it.  
  
Okay, so I'm brooding now. Brooding leads to thinking. Thinking right now is a bad thing. A very very very bad thing. My mind switches between what had happen and what will happen. With the occasional stop on two current things: Why have I kept Fish for so long and why was I still cuddling him at age nineteen?  
  
But Fish is not my main concern right now. What is, however, is the way this little drama is going to play out. As of right now I have come up with two things:  
  
One is God hates me and has Yoji and Omi act like nothing out of the ordinary has occurred. They'll think, "It's just poor little old Ken having a mood swing brought on by something or another and by tomorrow he'll be back to his soccer loving, clumsy self." This of course will completely freak me out and have me extremely nervous.  
  
With Yoji acting like this was nothing, he'll just use it as another reason to pick on me. Seeing how I will blush he'll be fueled to use it for more of, what may be one of his favorite activities: How Red Can I Make Ken? Omi will tell him to stop picking on me, but while trying to be nice he'll say something along the lines of "Yoji-kun stop it. Don't you think Ken-kun would deny it right away if he liked you?" This would help and lead me to mumble something about Omi being right (because I cannot stay quite though all this). Hearing my mumbling Yoji would be energized and exaggerate his actions; you know, draping himself all over me or calling me some extremely sickeningly sweet nickname. All the while I have keep quite and still to prove Omi's point right.  
  
But as we know at this point I have to think of the ice cold shower I will be taking as soon as I can get away from Yoji. The small pellets of water that will hit my body while trying not think of Yoji being in there with me. Turning the water dial all the way to the right so that liquid ice not cascades down my body. It will do nothing to relieve me of how I felt to be so close to Yoji; so close to that god like body; so close to heaven.  
  
And so on and so forth until I die.  
  
Version number two is just as fun as number one. This is where Yoji believed me and now acts all freaked out around me. Omi too, though to a lesser extent. The scenario will become I enter a room, Yoji will find some excuse to leave and that will be it. No one will talk about it, no one will question; there will just be this awkward silence for the rest of my life. In addition every night I'll end up in this fetal position calling myself an idiot and wishing for my own death.  
  
These are the only two options I can think of. Both suck and make me more depressed. It just becomes one endless circle I am more than ready to get out of. However I am not going to leave this bed and no one is coming to save me so I'm suck. God has to be having a field day with this.  
  
TBC  
  
******  
  
Sorry this had taken so long to get out but I got swamped this semester with readings and work and did not have time to write at all. There is one more part to go, but I don't know how long it will take for me to get that out. I hope quicker than this came out but no promises. 


End file.
